I love these words…so true, so powerful and yet so overused!  I try to follow the Live, Love, Laugh philosophy of life…who doesn’t?  But lets face it, sometimes Tears, Screaming and Throwing things get you more results in the relief department!

OK…no I am not losing it!  Just venting and saying that you have “life”.  In life we don’t always see roses.  Now mind you I am a very positive person if you ask most people.  But I do have my days, who doesn’t?  So don’t beat yourself up and think “oh what is everyone going to think”?  Because frankly, they don’t live your life or have your life!  They don’t feel your spirit or your heart.  They are themselves and you are you!  So don’t be ashamed to be “YOU”!

I recently went to the hospital and had the worst experience of my life.  On top of being SCARED TO DEATH for my medical issues, that are enough to scare anyone who has been through what I have in the past 12 years,  I had to endure health professionals that are like zombies in an shelter called a hospital!  Geez!  And then I am suppose to be acting like I care that they are having a bad day?  Seriously, did I go to get help and to make me feel better?  I am not saying it should be all about me…but damn it man…IT IS “ALL ABOUT ME”…  To top it off, I had put this off to the point of no return because I didn’t have health insurance.  Guess what…this is like saying you have Leprosy!  No insurance is an issue that they all don’t want to admit to but all have a certain amount of rules to follow!  Then you have the folks who come and beat you up to leave your first born child for collateral…all while you are hooked up to a heart monitor and I.V. drip of morphine while you are trying to relieve the pain that brought you there in the first place.

Anyone seeing anything wrong with this picture?  I think it is a crying shame when the almighty dollar has guide-lined our health and its caregivers.  I later get transferred to several rooms, which in the end turned out to be the “room from hell”… (guess that is where the “non paying customers” go!)

While there I had an array of nursing staff that our of about 10 maybe 2 wanted to be there for the love of helping someone and the rest were led by a ring leader of the “hate the lazy, uninsured, immigrants” board.  (And yes, that is pretty much a direct quote from my Nurse “J” of Nazi ville!)  In between her forgetting to give me anything for pain, infection or hydration!  But hey…she didn’t forget to have a seat (with feet propped up on my bed), gossip about the doctors and big wigs, incorporation mafia that took over “her” hospital of 16 years or helping herself to the donuts my kids brought in to snack on while sleeping with me to make sure I didn’t get killed in there!   She never knew anything, but was best friends with the Docs on my case and knew they weren’t going to touch my issue…”you are a liability”.  How is that for a colorful stay?

Needless to say, I was told they are ready to release me, after beating me to death to have a test I finally agreed to to find out they cannot do it as an “in-patient” status and I will have to get it somewhere else, and that they wouldn’t touch my “certain issue, with a 10 foot pole”, so I am going home.  Yay for me!  If stress feeds my issue then I am sure it magnified 100 times in 5 days of SCMC!  I won’t be going there again.  I am thankful the short time I was there I got a large bill to remind me of the stupidity I had to go and get help!  Next time….it will be in the ambulance.  I will never go willingly again!

This is my vent today!  Now that I am able to sit up and feel alive again…I will be letting this go, until the bill comes! 

Have a happy and healthy day

Perception…